My babys having a baby

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Reflections

New Years Eve, a natural time for reflecting on the past year. It strikes me that last NYE I had no idea how our lives would change, no idea that my baby girl would undergo such a dramatic change and no clue that I would be ringing in this new years as a gramma. . . a 31 year old gramma at that. How things change. . .

It also strikes me that we have all come through this relatively unscathed. Anybody who has followed this blog knows there were some heavy and dark times, but some times of joy and happiness also. Has it all been worth it? When I see Gabriels smiling face, watch him wiggle in anticipation of being picked up, watch my daughter cry when she reads the same book to him that I read to her . . . then yes, its all very worth it. When my four year old son cradles Gabriel and says "I'ts ok, Uncle Jacob is here" then I know. . . its worth it. When my strong willed tough and independant 12 year old rocks Gabriel, crooning a song to him, talking so gently, then yes. . . its worth it.

We have all grown in so many ways, patience has been tested, boundaries crossed, emotions flared but finally, life feels normal once again. I tried to imagine what life would be like today if Jayme hadn't had the baby, had never even found herself pregnant but my mind won't go there. This was the path that her life took, so why look back. We can only look forward.

And, forward looking we are! Jayme has begun to investigate more career paths and what college she would like to attend. She is only a Junior this year, so she is getting closer to that time. I am encouraging her to attend the same University that I am now, because she would stay close but she is liking the University a bit further away. She is growing more and more attached to the idea of becoming a History teacher, which would be awesome. She is quite aware of history and politics, usually waging a battle with CNN (unless, of course, its Anderson Cooper who she is madly in love with) over some story or interview. I think that being a history/social studies teacher would be a good choice for her.

As for me, I am growing closer to graduating and figuring out what to do next. Its funny, Jayme and I will graduate at the same time. Do I go to work? Do I get my MSW? Do I do that here or move? Time will give me my answer, when I am ready for it, of that I am sure.

So, reflecting back, looking forward, its all part of the New Year. I am proud of how my family has held up over this past year. I am amazed at my daughter, so amazed that she has turned into such a loving, attentive mama. I am oober amazed at my beautiful little grandson, my mom and I had a debate over who had the cutest grandson, her or I. I swear that grandkids are much much cuter then our own kids. She thought she won the debate though, and considering my son is her only grandson well . . . I guess I will let her keep thinking that!

As for an update, Moose is growing great, he is up to 15 pounds now. He rolls from front to back, but not from back to front yet. He is chewing on everything he can find and drools like a rabid dog. He is still 100% breastfed, but may start cereal sometime soon. When we have dinner he grabs for food and then makes chewing motions, its rather funny! He enjoyed his first Christmas, and really made out on the toys! I bought him a basket and filled it with books that Jayme loved. Of course I had to buy "I love you forever". Jayme used to make me read it to her, knowing that I would bawl my eyes out and never make it through the story. So . . . Moosey got the book, and I made Jayme read it to him. Of course, she sobbed and could hardly get through the book herself. It was wonderful :)

So, I will update more often, I got swept up in the holiday season, work and finals at school. Now that he is giving cute pics, I need to put them up more. I have turned into one of those wickedly evil grammas that tote pics all the time. Its wonderful!